Jessie Bluejay

Well, after more than 3½ years here at Jessie Bluejay, it’s time to move on…

To Champagne Management!

I’ve been meaning to redesign the site forever. The recent spam attack finally instigated the change. I guess spammers are good for something.

Noah is diligently working on all the techy stuff, but we’re still working out the kinks on the new site. Please be patient and thanks for reading!!! I intend to leave this site up so the archives will still be accessible. If you have any questions, you’ll have to take it up with the Champagne Management!

The comments are shut down for now. Spam was getting through and I haven’t been able to figure out how to stop it. Hopefully they’ll be back up soon, but I think I’ll need to make some major changes in the near future. Sorry!

I solved the bulk of my facebook issues this morning by installing Facebook Purity. It’s a Greasemonkey script that removes all of the notifications from applications contributed by external developers. This means that once it’s installed you will never get the updates about the quizzes your friends took, their stripper names, or any of that stuff. You’re left with the facebook basics: status updates, links, photos, wall posts, notes, and so on. It works like an absolute dream (for Firefox users). I’m totally facebook pure now.

I think I’ve found my new spring hairstyle:

It’s totally show-biz and not at all Dr. Zira:

Manish Arora is definitely one of my favorite designers. He’s right up there with Jean-Charles de Castelbajac and Ágatha Ruiz de la Prada. Like them, his collections are consistently imaginative, funny, and strange. If Bollywood ever started to make sci fi movies (dare to frickin’ dream!!!), Manish would be the ideal costumer. He’s always combined the color and drama of Hindi film with the otherworldly and alien.

His Fall 2009 collection is full of his usual wonderful weirdness. I love these kitty cocktail dresses:

Yep, that’s Simba.

My favorite pieces in the collection are these surreally patterned dresses:

The patterns feature chimeric animals like winged dolphins and cheetah-bunnies in hallucinatory landscapes. You absolutely have to see the patterns up close to appreciate them. Check out these enormous image files of the dress on the left and the one on the right. Here’s a detail of the beautiful pink eagle-giraffe beasts from the skirt on the dress on the right:

I want a huge scarf made from this material. I also wouldn’t mind a coat made from the hide of one of those eagle-giraffes.

Man, I could really go for a rum & thums up:

Thums Up is a betel nutty cola drink from India. Apparently, it’s perceived as a “macho drink.” I wonder if they sell it anywhere in Albuquerque. It’s doubtful, but possible. When I first moved here, I went to the only Indian grocery I could find to stock up on spices. I ended up chatting with the owner and he told me that his was indeed the only Indian shop in the city. “Because I am the only Indian in this town!” he cried. While he was obviously just being dramatic (and hilarious), there are only about 3700 Indian Americans in the whole state of New Mexico.

The advertisement is from this gallery of vintage ads from India.

Want to know the secret of eternal youth?

Don’t worry, it’s not baby horsies! Just horse placentas! And thanks to the good folks behind Placenta-Pro 30,000, you don’t have to procure your own horse placentas! You can buy it in delicious soft drink form. That’s right. Sit back and enjoy a cool, refreshing glass of afterbirth soda! It’s made from “100% undiluted horse-origin placenta,” so it’s extra horsey. This ain’t no horse placenta from concentrate– it’s freshly squeezed! Nor is it loaded with artificial flavors and sweeteners. Now if the idea of drinking pure horse afterbirth is tickling your gag reflex, rest assured that the company has “carefully formulat[ed] the reduction of placenta smell, the greatest obstacle, as closely to zero as possible.” See? Totally not gross! It’s got all the great equine placenta benefits with almost none of the disgusting odor!

And don’t even think about trying those other, inferior placenta products. Did you know that horse placenta soda contains 300 times the amount of amino acids found in pig placenta drinks? And these are no ordinary horses. They’re happy horses that frolic freely in the alpine meadows of the Kyrgyz Republic, until someone comes along and harvests their placentas.

It’s still not as effective as baby foreskins though. Please refer to The Terrifying Secret of Youth: Part 1.

I think I’ll just stick with Pearl Cream.

Via J-Walk

María Daniela y Su Sonido Lasser is an electro pop band from Mexico City. They’re one of the most popular bands on the excellent Nuevos Ricos (New Rich) label. Nuevos Ricos is based in Mexico City and while the bands vary from techno to pop to punk, they all tend to focus on creative, high energy performances and embrace irony and kitsch. I kinda think of the Nuevos Ricos bands as musical versions of Tim & Eric’s comedy, but in Spanish. In other words, they are awesome.

María Daniela and one of her favorite hand gestures

María Daniela y Su Sonido Lasser consists of Emilio Acevedo and María Daniela Azpiazu. Their cheesy techno pop is super catchy and their videos are a blast.

• Pobre Estupida

I love how María Daniela dances. She repeats her signature moves like she’s performing mini-routines.

• Chicle de Menta

This is my absolute favorite. It’s very funny, especially when the gum-chewing biker starts dancing at 0:50. I also love the goofy synchronized aerobicizing.



Screengrab from the retro videogame-inspired “Chicle de Menta” video

• Miedo

This video makes me want to roller skate. It also makes me wish I had a suitcase filled with tiaras!

• Duri Duri

This is a video of a television performance. The song is so retarded and fun.

“Duri Duri” is actually a cover that was originally recorded by the fantastically cheesy 80s Mexican band, Click. Click was one of those girl groups in which none of the members actually played any instruments. They all had incredibly big hair and performed hilarious synchronized dance routines. This is simply a must-see concert performance of Duri Duri (Baila Baila) by Click. The blonde’s spastic head swinging cracks me up. I think María Daniela has definitely been inspired by them. I know I will forever be inspired by them.

Stay tuned for more Nuevos Ricos bands.