The F Word
Noah and I were of course warned to never ever refer to San Francisco as "Frisco" or "San Fran." The admonishment was given in a tone reminiscent of the warnings in Gremlins to never feed the mogwai after midnight. It's just that serious, apparently. We were informed that it would be acceptable to call it The City.
My knee-jerk response was something like, "What a bunch of arrogant bastards. I mean, christ, that's smug as hell. The City? Like it's the only city in existence? And why exactly is it forbidden to say Frisco? Um, this is America, man! I'll call it whatever the hell I want. Frisco, Frisco, Frisco!"
And then I threw a chair. It wasn't my finest moment.
But for serious, that's really pretentious. And after my initial indignation subsided a bit, I wondered where all of this linguistic snobbery originated from. It's much older than you might think.
Lots of people trace the Frisco hate back to the late Herb Caen, a longtime columnist for the San Francisco Chronicle. In 1953 he wrote an entire frickin' book dedicated to persuading people to stop saying Frisco. That's a lot of hate! In the subtly titled Don't Call It Frisco, he wrote:
Not Frisco but San Francisco. Caress each Spanish syllable, salute our Italian Saint. Don't say Frisco and don't say San-Fran-Cis-Co. That's the way Easterners, like Larry King pronounce it. It's more like SanfrnSISco.
That's really more of a command than a reasoned argument. Plus, it doesn't even make sense. How is running it all together like that consistent with "caressing" every syllable? It seems like the "Easterners" are the ones caressing all those syllables.
But the real Frisco hate goes back even further to a beloved lunatic known as Emperor Norton:
To make a long-- and bizarre-- story slightly shorter, Joshua Norton emigrated to San Francisco from South Africa in 1849 to take advantage of the economic opportunities provided by the Gold Rush. He made a fortune in real estate and other business ventures, but lost it all on a disastrous investment in Peruvian rice. He was left completely destitute. And that's about when he started to lose his mind.
A few years later, he officially declared himself to be Emperor of the United States. And Protector of Mexico. He made all sorts of imperious proclamations over the years, including but not limited to abolishing Congress, the California Supreme Court, and the Democratic and Republican parties. He demanded that the US switch to an absolute monarchy.
He also despised the term Frisco. His Majesty declared:
Whoever after due and proper warning shall be heard to utter the abominable word "Frisco", which has no linguistic or other warrant, shall be deemed guilty of a High Misdemeanor, and shall pay into the Imperial Treasury as penalty the sum of twenty-five dollars.
There you have it. The 1872 edict of a madman. I believe the "Imperial Treasury" refers to Emperor Norton's royal pockets. He'd probably be happy to know that the elitist (insane) tradition of Frisco hate has endured for over 130 years.
I still don't get why it inspires such passion. Frisco!
2008-07-25 14:41:43 UTC