You've Been Warned
OK, one more:
2007-03-30 11:01:49 UTC
Warning: I Have No Purpose
Part of my job, as a temporary employee with no real responsibilities, is to find ways to entertain myself and make it look like I'm working. I can't just read stuff online. I need to type sometimes and even print things so it seems like I'm actually doing something. It is also important to rustle through papers on my desk or flip through files every once in a while. I like to find different activities so that I never get bored. If I look bored, I run the risk of someone asking me if I need something to do and that situation is to be avoided at all costs. Now, I don't know for sure that anyone is paying attention to me, but I have to assume they are. (Even though yesterday I stepped out for a haircut and no one seemed to notice that I'd been gone or that I'd gotten my hair cut.) Here is the "project" I worked on yesterday:
Impressive, yes? Happily, I stumbled upon this completely useless website where you can generate your own warning labels. What an excellent time-wasting activity! You choose the type of warning, the symbol, and then the text. I made the above examples into stickers with some shipping labels. I don't even plan on sticking them anywhere. I guess I'll just file them under "Projects."
2007-03-30 10:23:27 UTC
Pubic Hair in Ancient Rome
You know how I can tell when I've been watching too much TV? I start feeling insecure and bad about myself. I begin to feel myself regressing back to high school, when my insecurity was at its psychotic peak. It's an alarming, unwelcome feeling and a definite motivator to turn off the frickin' TV. The most recent issue of Sex Roles: A Journal of Research (back issues available for free here) published a study entitled "Predictors of Media Effects on Body Dissatisfaction in European American Women." Here's a summary. Guess what the shocking conclusion is? When a girl or woman looks at images of models, she feels bad about herself. The participants in the study only looked at pictures of models in magazines like Cosmo and Seventeen for three minutes. And every single woman felt dissatisfied with her body afterwards. After only three minutes! No woman needs to imagine the effects of a lifetime of exposure to images of models. The more media we consume, the worse we feel about ourselves. And yet we're drawn to it. Kinda makes you wanna remove yourself from civilization, doesn't it?
Though Noah and I don't have a TV, we do have a little portable DVD player and lately we've been watching the HBO series, Rome, which is basically soft-core pornography with a really good plot. The makers are rumored to be very committed to historical accuracy. Most episodes feature at least a few different naked women. I don't doubt that there were many naked women in Ancient Rome, but did you know that all the naked women of Ancient Rome were thin and toned and had perky breasts? Even more surprising is that the Romans apparently invented the Brazilian wax way before Brazil was ever even "discovered" by Europeans! The women of Rome all sport the same pubic hairstyle: the landing strip. And I was under the ignorant assumption that the landing strip was a contemporary pubic hairdo. As a history major and women's studies minor, I sure do appreciate the lesson.
Interestingly, the lack of body hair on the women may actually be historically accurate, though I kinda doubt the landing strip was trendy. Ancient Romans were known to be into depilation. The thinness of the actresses may be less historically plausible than their hairlessness. I'm planning on doing some more research. (Someone must have written an academic text on the history of pubic hair grooming!) Either way, the naked women of Ancient Rome are starting to have a cumulative effect on me. They're chipping away at my confidence. I think I need a break from them.
2007-03-28 11:41:26 UTC
Deep Fried Pizza
I'm super hungry for junk food and this looks really good:
Alas, us poor folks in Madison are stuck with dozens of equally mediocre pizza choices, and none of them are deep-fried.
2007-03-27 17:49:44 UTC
The Glorious Apple Pancake
When I was growing up, the Original Pancake House was one of my family's favorite restaurants. We would usually go on Sundays as part of the post-church rush that now irritates the hell out of me. (This was back before my mom gave up on all of our souls.) We all loved the glorious Apple Pancake, that sugary, buttery, appley treat. The four of us (pre-younger brother/mistake Zack) would each order an Apple Pancake and never anything else, except extra whipped butter. I don't think I ever even looked at the menu until I was in my late 20s. I didn't really see the need. I mean, what's better than the Apple Pancake? In fact, its name is actually a misnomer because the Apple Pancake is really much too wonderful to be called a mere "pancake." The Apple Pancake completely transcends your typical pancake. If only the Body of Christ tasted so good; then maybe mom wouldn't have had to write off my eternal soul. Well, this weekend I had a taste for one but I didn't want to leave the house. So, I found this recipe, which makes one Apple Pancake that will supposedly serve two. (Everyone in my family used to be able to polish off an entire one themselves.) I decided to try it. Here are the Granny Smith apples cooking in the sugar, cinnamon, and 7/8 of a stick of butter:
My first question: 7/8 of a stick of butter? Why? Does that extra tablespoon really make that much of a difference? Is is just so you don't have to say that you ate a whole stick of butter? "No, I didn't eat a whole stick of butter. That would be gross. I just ate 7/8 of one." Yeah, that definitely makes you sound like an ascetic. I realized there must have been a lot of butter in the Apple Pancake, but I didn't know just how much. That's a lot of frickin' butter. Plus, my family always slathered extra whipped butter all over them. I remember after mine would inevitably fall, I'd fill the resulting depression with a big ol' puddle of butter. We must have ingested at least a stick and a half of butter a piece! Well, Noah and I were going to split one and I wouldn't add any extra butter, so that makes only half a stick of butter for breakfast. That's not so bad. The end result didn't look exactly as expected:
Mine definitely wouldn't win any pancake beauty contests. I was surprised to discover that despite its appearance, it tasted exactly like the Original Pancake House version. I mean, exactly. The Apple Pancake costs about $8 at the restaurant. The ingredients will cost you maybe $2 if you make it at home. I highly recommend it. It's what the Body of Christ should taste like.
2007-03-26 11:30:15 UTC