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Stupid Heels
I spent about ten minutes practicing walking in heels this afternoon. That was all I could stand (no pun intended). I never really learned that particular feminine lesson. It was hard enough learning how to use a tampon and on that score I only succeeded after many ridiculous failures (including my initial attempt to insert both tampon and applicator). Christ, I just started wearing the right-sized bra. And I've never known whether eyeliner is supposed to go under the eyelashes or along the rim of the eye. I suck at being a girl. Anyway, despite my gender handicaps, I plan on going to my wedding dressed as a girl and that includes heels. I have to wear heels with a 50s party dress. Don't I? (Though, if I were truly committed to an authentic 50s look, I'd wear a pointy bra and that is definitely not happening.) However, I think I might have been flirting with lunacy when I bought these shoes (pictured above- imagine them in red) as the heels are 3 and 1/2 inches. I got them at Frederick's of Hollywood on my soon-to-be sister-in-law's recommendation. They are really cute, but Frederick's of Hollywood is less feminine sophisticate and more, uh, streetwalking harlot (see this wonderful old Frederick's catalogue at Lileks). Now I'm wishing I'd looked into some 
ballerina flats or something. It is very hard to find cute flats though. This pair of mary janes (Doc Martens of course) is only available for little tiny girls. Not fair. I absolutely love them and I'm pretty sure I'd actually be able to walk in them and probably even dance! I'm just hoping I'll be able to get through the ceremony without kicking off the harlot shoes.
2006-05-10 16:59:15 UTC
Petting Zoo Wedding
Noah and I have been incredibly busy getting ready for our upcoming wedding. There's so much to do to prepare his parents' house for the party. They also have a huge untended backyard that we've been trying to organize. There's room for the patio/dance floor we're building, all of the tables and chairs, and much more. Our dilemma is: how do we use all the extra creeping charlie-covered space? There's simply too much space to put flowers everywhere; it would be much too expensive. My dream was to fill all the extra space with puppies. People could take turns lying down in the puppy patch. Wouldn't you love to be covered in puppies? To feel a hundred eager puppy tongues on your skin? It would be a unique experiment in cute: how much cuteness can one human handle? Obviously, this is kinda quixotic. There's no way I could get that many puppies. But then I thought: what about bunnies?
They're pretty cute. And hundreds of fluffy little hoppers shouldn't be too hard to acquire. I mean, they make themselves! We could just buy a couple of starter sets and let 'em go to town. Unfortunately, I had this epiphany a tad too late. The gestation period for bunnies is around a month and our wedding is in three weeks. I guess my dream of a petting zoo/wedding will never be realized. Honestly, I'd be happy with one frickin' goat. If there was just one goat walking around wearing a pretty little bonnet I'd be satisfied. Alas, the only animals at our wedding (aside from the one service dog) will be served on plates.
2006-05-01 20:25:43 UTC
Falafel For The People
This past Friday Noah and I picked up a "Beginner's" Bocce Ball set (still not sure what would be different about an "advanced" version). Well, on our way to the park, we passed by The People's Bakery, an excellent place to get cheap, fresh baked goods from a man who reminds me of the "Klav Kalash" guy from The Simpsons.
Though its name suggests otherwise, The People's Bakery is not some sort of socialist donut experiment. Socialists are welcome (as far as I know), but there's no socialist agenda. I imagine the immigrant owner's thought pattern went something like this: "I make the donuts for the people. This is the bakery where the people come. A-ha! The People's Bakery!" Anyway, much to our happy surprise, The People's Bakery now serves lunch and dinner! They serve Lebanese and Middle Eastern dishes for super cheap. We had huge tasty falafel sandwiches for $3. We never got around to playing our game of bocce, but we found a new comfy place to eat for cheap.
2006-05-01 19:57:40 UTC