How to Eat a Big Mac
After seeing how the Japanese eat their Mega Macs, I was inspired to come up with my own cartoon. Here's my vision of how an American girl eats a Big Mac:
I'll die if anyone catches me eating this!
She's scared that someone will see her because eating food from McDonald's has become a source of guilt and shame. There is a general feeling that those who eat at McDonald's are "part of the problem." We've projected all of our guilt and fears about modern society onto McDonald's. The company has come to represent everything evil in this world: gluttony and obesity, environmental destruction, monoculture, a replaceable low-paid workforce, capitalism, etc. Pick your evil, McDonald's can take the blame. Ronald McDonald is worse than Hitler so eating a Big Mac is like sleeping with Hitler.
2007-07-31 07:57:54 UTC
Barbie and the Bible Gang(bang)
Biblical figures will soon be invading Barbie's Dream House:
They may move in with plans to convert Barbie and her hedonistic ilk, but it's not gonna happen. Parents are deeply delusional if they believe these dolls are going to be used for good, clean Christian fun. Kids are going to play with these dolls just like they play with other dolls: they'll make them fight and have sex. That's what dolls are for. They don't use them to reenact Bible stories or baptize each other.
The Blessed Virgin isn't going to be a virgin for much longer. Barbie will surely enjoy the Body of Christ, until she's too sore to walk. Insert your own Moses/Burning Bush joke here. Bring on the sacrelicious irony!
(See all the products here.)
2007-07-30 12:06:06 UTC
Mega Mac Attack
The Mega Mac is back in Japan. To celebrate its return, several of Japan's manga artists have contributed their cartoon visions of How to Eat the Mega Mac to a gallery on McDonald's website. Here are a couple of examples:
It's interesting to see the Japanese playfully celebrating something that our society demonizes, or at the very least feels enormously guilty about. The Japanese are eating more and more fat. (Witness the Pizza Hut Double Roll.) It's only a matter of time before it starts to catch up with them. Maybe when they eventually close the obesity gap, they'll turn on their Big Mac too.
2007-07-30 09:17:16 UTC
Food Porn Name Generator
Everyone knows the porn star name formula. (Incidentally, mine is Igor Reichert and I think Igor would make a fantastic porn name.) But what about your food porn name? There’s no formula proven to generate quality food porn monikers. I brainstormed some ideas and here are the formulas I came up with, including what my names would be:
- Favorite Herb/Spice + First Team Name in Singular Form (Little League, Middle School Mascot, whatever)=
Cilantro Bunny
- Favorite Food to Gorge On + Last Street You Lived On=
Onion Rings Washington
- Favorite Dessert + Mother's Maiden Name=
Baked Alaska Blais
- Any Title + A Favorite Candy=
Maharani Gummi Bear
I kinda like the results, but I have no idea how they'll work for anyone else. They need to be tested using large sample sizes.
If one of the above formulas doesn't provide you with a food porn name that satisfies you, make up your own. Be creative, but allow me to offer a piece of advice. Lots of names for foods incorporate words or euphemisms for human body parts. While it's tempting to use these in your food porn name, some work better than others. Examples:
- Cinnamon Buns- OK; Smoked Butt- NOT OK
- Matzoh Balls- OK; Ham Balls- NOT OK
- Bitter Melons- OK; Chicken Breasts- NOT OK
Notice the difference? This is just my opinion, of course. Ultimately, the decision is yours.
2007-07-27 11:24:58 UTC
Three Awesome Free Flash Games
This game's from Japan and it's really neat and potentially addicting. It's got a very appealing minimalist design. The goal is to push the white ball (with the mouse) to the exit point in as few pushes as possible. You only have a certain number of pushes for the whole game so you have to carefully plan your moves around the many obstacles (pits, walls, etc). I love that it's so simple yet totally engaging. Consider the day wasted! (Via here)
Victorian Bitch Slap: Rose and Camellia
This one's from Japan and consists entirely of anime Victorian ladies slapping the crap out of each other! I don't get this game. I have no idea how to win or even what's going on. But who the hell cares? I love everything about this game: the opera-length slapping gloves, the satisfying sound of a slap connecting with a cheek, the wounds that appear as the slaps add up. They should make this into a movie! (Via Scanner)
Dodge the Poop and Poke the Butt!
This one's from Korea. The goal is to avoid the poo swirls that the star-pantied kid is dropping onto your head while shooting your finger up into his butt. Use the mouse to move and click to shoot. If you hit the butthole perfectly, his legs swing open wide and you get points! This game is simple, fast, and very easy to win. You don't play this game because it's challenging. You play it because it's about a butterball Korean boy dodging piles of poo and trying to poke a butthole. (Via Tokyomango)
2007-07-26 15:56:11 UTC