More Bans on Baggy Pants
The other day I mentioned that a town in Louisiana had banned "saggy pants." Well, it looks like several other Louisiana cities are following suit. According to this CNN article, "If the mayors of Shreveport and Alexandria sign the ordinances, they will bring Louisiana's total to at least six, with at least two more cities considering bans." The article also reports on the Atlanta City Council meeting where cranky citizens discussed a similar ban. At the meeting, a 76-year old man shared his vision of a "Belt Brigade" made up of officers who would patrol the streets of Atlanta, admonishing offending youths and ordering them to hike up their pants. Was this vision brought on by dementia or just ordinary grumpy-old-man syndrome?
If we're actually going to establish some sort of fashion police then there are much more heinous crimes than "saggy pants." And I definitely don't want the elderly determining what's criminal.
2007-08-30 09:50:06 UTC
A Bunch of Japanese Music Videos
Here's a bunch of wonderful music videos from Japan:
- The Pillows' "Ride on Shooting Star"
- Ging Nang Boyz
- Capsule's "Idol Fancy"
- The Blue Hearts' "Linda Linda"
- "Linda Linda" from the 2005 movie about an all girl band, Linda Linda Linda
This is the great pop song played at the end of every episode of FLCL, a super bizarre anime about a boy whose head is a portal through which huge robots come to Earth (among other things). I love the glasses the band members wear in the beginning of the video. This song gets stuck in my head.
I have no idea what the title of this song is. I got it from TV in Japan. You must watch this video in its entirety. The first three minutes drag, but it's all building up to a fantastically dirty climax. Their music reminds me of The Strokes, but more fun and speedy (read: more poppy).
Capsule reminds me of Pizzicato Five. Their loungy electronic songs are very catchy and imaginative. They're sweet and kawaii, but not cloying. Here's another one: Capsule's "Retro Memory".
The Blue Hearts were a punk rock band in the late 80's. They've often been compared to the Clash. "Linda Linda" was released in 1987 and it was hugely successful. It's an awesome song. You should also check out their controversial song "Train Train" (about the Chernobyl disaster).
This teenage girl band covers The Blue Hearts' classic song at the high school's Rock Festival. Witness the frenzy. I have GOT to see this movie.
2007-08-29 20:14:49 UTC
The Dolphin God is a Jealous God
I was mulling over my decision to enter the exciting world of Dolphin Energy Healing when I realized something: I don't live near any dolphins. At least I'm pretty sure there aren't any dolphins in the Madison lake system. There aren't even any at the zoo. This is a significant setback. What am I gonna do? How am I supposed to suck the spiritual energy from the dolphins if there aren't any dolphins around to suck from?
Do you think that dolphins are the only creatures that have the special healing energy? Would muskies work? Could I be a Muskie Energy Healer? There are plenty of muskies around here. I could probably heal people with muskie energy.
Join me on this spiritual journey toward perfect harmony and profound inner peace.
He seems both capable and willing. He doesn't appear any less in tune with nature than a dolphin. I mean, what makes the dolphins so damn special anyway?
I am the Lord your God. Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
Oh. OK, Dolphin God. It's cool. It's not even like that. You don't have to worry about me merging my consciousness with a muskie's. I'm your faithful servant, I swear.
Dolphin image source; Muskie image source.
2007-08-29 11:34:53 UTC
The Stupid World of Dolphin Energy Healing
Forget grad school. I have a new career goal: I am going to become a Certified Dolphin Energy Practitioner. At the Dolphin Healing HeArts School, I can dive right into the "pod experience" and merge my human consciousness with my dolphin consciousness, or some crazy shit like that. I think it's like a Vulcan mind meld. At any rate, once I get through the rigorous program, I'll be able to transmit Dolphin Energy and frickin' heal people with the awesome power of Dolphin Consciousness. Dolphin Energy Healing is so much cooler than Angel Therapy! Here's what I've learned about dolphins already:
Dolphins are master healers and keepers of the light upon Planet Earth. They are highly evolved omni-dimensional beings who live in the Oneness. Their role is similar to that of the angelic kingdom. They are here to watch over us, to help us and support us, and to guide us on our remembrance to radiant wholeness.
Omni-dimensional? So once I become one with the dolphins I'll be able to travel through different dimensions? Awesome! Linda Shay, the founder of this prestigious academy, writes about the first time she was taken by the dolphins into a "parallel reality" and a "higher dimension." Everything around her disappeared and she swam alone with the pod, as one. She realized afterwards that the dolphins had actually stopped time.
So, dolphins are capable of manipulating time and space! Can you believe some people eat them? I'm going to use my dolphin gifts to help humanity. I will ride a dolphin into the past and kill Hitler!
Aside from saving the lives of millions of Jews from history, as a Dolphin Energy Healer I'll be able to help so many people in the present! I'll also be able to make a living while I'm doing it. Many clients have written to Linda to thank her for all the healing dolphin energy she's given charged them $85/session for. Mark from PA writes:
Hi Linda, I know I just got off the phone with you, but I just had to let you know that the dolphin sound that you communicated sent a dolphin right into my tan tien, the energy area slightly below the navel. As the sound came I inwardly saw a dolphin swiftly flowing from my crown chakra down through the center of my being and strongly into the tan tien. I still feel the vibration!
So people pay this woman to make dolphin noises over the phone? I have got to learn how to speak Dolphin! I can't wait for classes to start.
2007-08-28 11:08:02 UTC
Castrating America's Presidents: LBJ
Happy Birthday, Lyndon B Johnson (b. 8/27/08, d. 1/22/73)!
You've been castrated through fashion!
Fun fact (courtesy of Wikipedia): LBJ's favorite soft drink was Fresca (AKA liquid testosterone). He even had a small control box installed in his writing desk that featured two buttons labeled "Coffee" and "Fresca." He would simply have to press a button and an aide would bring him the corresponding drink. Let's hope he's enjoying ice cold Frescas in the afterlife!
2007-08-27 11:37:20 UTC